One of the problems with Christians

One of the problems with Christians is that we tend to want rules to measure ourselves up against, this is not something exclusive to Christians but it is something that effects most of us.
Humans crave recognition for our actions and Christians are no exception, while very few Christians believe that just good works or following rules get one into heaven, a large number try to do those things not because God told them to, but because they want to feel holier.

As Christians our religion is unique, unlike other religions ours is not based on following laws or doing good works to get into heaven, unlike other religions ours is one where having a personal relationship with God trumps every other action. You can be a horrible person all your life, but if you repent on your death bed and accept God into your life you'll be just as redeemed as the picture perfect Christian at Church.

We are not required to follow rules or do good deeds for salvation, we just need to repent and allow God into our hearts, but what does letting God into one's heart mean?
I'm mortal and not Omniscient, I can't claim to perfect or know all the right answers, but I'm of the opinion letting God into your heart means letting him guide and direct your actions while having a personal relationship with him.

Unfortunately having a relationship with someone is work and requires dialog and trust, something that many Christians fail to give, prayers are not asking for guidance but are instead asking for money or goods or the end to a tribulation or trial.
This is not to say that these are bad things to pray about, no they are not, there is a time and place for prayers like those, however for many Christians this is about the extent of their prayers.

To put this into contrast suppose every day some random person on the street came up and begged you for money, and no matter what you did he rarely thanked you and always came back begging for more money. And if you tried to find out why he needed the money it was always for something selfish like a new TV or Golf club. And if you tried to talk to him to learn more about him personally he would not reply.

That is what most Christians are, and that fact that God puts up with us is quite surprising.

What this means though is that many Christians have a hole in their life, they don't how to have a relationship with God, so they try to prove their love to him, and to the world. They give to the poor, they help the sick, they follow all the laws in the Bible to the letter, they go to every Church meeting and study. These are not bad things to do, but they are done not because God told them to do it but because they're trying to prove to God, other Christians, and to themselves that they are good Christians. They find people less virtuous and say to themselves. "I'm not perfect, but if God can forgive that person then I should be fine."

This is an entirely wrong way of looking at things but since they don't know how, or they don't want to put the effort into it, they don't have a personal relationship with God, but at the same time they don't want to go to hell so they default to the next thing, buying salvation and being holier then others.

However without a relationship with God, memorizing the entire Bible, following every rule, giving every penny, attending every service, going on every mission trip, and everything else IS WORTHLESS! And will only make you feel better about yourself.

Relationships are hard work, it requires dialog and trust both ways, the best way to start is to ask God what HE wants you to do, don't go to the Bible, don't go to the pastor, take some time and ask him directly what he wants you to do.
There's nothing wrong with reading the Bible or talking to your pastor, but if you want a personal relationship with God you have to go directly to him because in the end your relationship is between you and him, and you and him alone.